-One of your biggest concerns during your divorce will be its impact on your children. And it’s understandable: separation is a significant shift for the entire family. But it is key to have the tools necessary to help your children through this change.
So, how do you tell your children about the separation? Here are four crucial tips to consider while having your first talk with your children.
Tell Them as a Team
It is best if both parents make every attempt to have a chat with their children jointly. It’s critical for your children to feel loved and supported by both parents from the outset of your divorce. They need to know that while you will no longer be together, you will still be their parents and will always be their people. However, if this is just not an option, the parent having the conversation with the children should reassure them that both parents love and support them and will continue to do so.
Be Upfront and Truthful
When discussing separation with your children, the discussion should fit your child’s age, maturity, and personality. Consider using language your child can understand. This will help them know what is going on and the implications of this transition. Ensure you’re honest about what the separation will mean for them, you, and your ex.
How you navigate the separation process will significantly impact who your children are and their future relationships.
Let Them Know it’s not Their Fault.
Because children are ego-centric, they will eventually wonder if your divorce is their fault. Make it plain and unambiguous to your children that the dissolution of the relationship is not their fault. You may need to reiterate this to your children as they adjust to the separation.
Be sure to emphasize to them that parents usually decide to divorce and that children are never the reason behind it. Depending on your children’s ages and maturity, you can explain that adults in relationships require specific things from the other person. But when this does not occur, the adults may disagree–leading to separation. Always keep blame out of the conversation because it will not serve you or them in the long run.
Control Your Emotions
Getting a separation means your emotions are high, which is normal. However, when discussing with your children, keep focusing on them and ensure your emotions are in check. It would be best to lay proper foundations during this conversation, as it will impact how they navigate the separation process. Avoid showing anger or hatred towards the other parent to reduce your child’s fear about what will happen.
Talking to your children about your separation can be a hard thing to do. However, following all the above tips can make things easier for yourself and your children. And this process comes with its troubles, including confusion on how to begin the divorce process. The good news is that Forms.Legal has the tools and templates to get you on the right foot including the free form for marital separation agreement .